This is for Luke

I wanted to get some pictures posted from Christmas but things just didn't go as planned. It was a wonderful Christmas and we got lots of fun stuff. My parents came over Christmas Eve and stayed the night. It's always so much fun to watch the excitement on the kiddo's faces when they see that Santa came. My parents left Christmas night because my mother in-law was due in early the next morning for a visit all the way from Pennsylvania.I was hoping for a great visit with hopes of her relaxing a bit since she had just took on the task of caring for Grandma and Grandpa. If you seen my previous post about grandpa being ill and in the hospital. He was doing better yet his lungs were never going to get better. They had decided to put him in the nursing home down the road to get that much needed around the clock care. The day before my mother in-law headed down they transferred him over and he was settled in just fine. Anyways the visit was going great and we had decided after a long day of rest and hanging around the house that we'd take a 2 hour trip over to Albany Georgia to an aquarium. when we arrived it was a bit frustrating. We sat at the pay window what felt like forever. A long game of who's on first and what's on second! All we had asked is if they gave a military discount. We wanted to see the movie (kinda like IMAX) of the dinosaurs. The kid (maybe 25) not only forgot to ring up one of the kids granted that could have been our mix up to but he didn't add the movie payment. My mother in-law had numerous payment slips now. We finally finished paying and by the look on all of our faces we were quite exhausted or maybe a bit annoyed from that whole process. But quite honestly who wouldn't be in this rush, rush, rush fast paced world. We headed in to the exhibit and it was great fun. Fish every where and lizards and birds! We were about to head to the third floor when we received the phone call. The only thing that I had prayed for before Ann (my mother in-law) came to visit was not to get this call. I was thinking about it the other day that I didn't even pray for her safety flying like I usually do. I just prayed that Grandpa wouldn't pass away while she was gone....and he did. We were walking up a ramp and for some reason in my gut when I heard the phone ring I new.Maybe this is how it was suppose to be. Maybe she was not suppose to be in town or even there. But I am sure in some way she feels guilt. Grandpa was an amazing person and it's amazing that a Grand father IN-LAW can feel like as if he was my own my entire life. I'm not good with words and what exactly I should have said. But, we did in deed start trying to figure out what we should do and it meant leaving the aquarium. We had only been there for 30 min. or so ...I think. I had told Ann that I was going to ask for her money back ( it was super pricey). I just dreaded the fact that I was going to have to talk to the guy. You know the one from before. Just getting in was a ridiculous process and here I was going to try and get money back. So I headed to the window and he could see we all had been crying and were visibly shaken. I explained the situation and he got his supervisor. Whew! Thank goodness! The process still takes a bit of time so I talked with "the guy" who's name is actually Luke. As we talked he stopped mid sentence and said "I have a prayer book" nothing more just that. I told him that was great. He then asked if he could have Ann's name and Grandma's name to add to the prayer book. He then explained that he had read the book the Purpose Driven and how that and other things had changed his life and he lives for God! The other things were heart breaking and humbling and made me want to curl up and cry. See Luke actually had a Brain Tumor and then had two strokes which made him go into a coma for six months. They were going to pull the plug and he went on from there. He explained that he had to learn to talk, walk and eat again and is still a bit slow but said he had so much love for his Lord! He then came walking out of his glassed in room to give his condolences and hug everyone. I still wanted to cry. Cry for the lose of a great man and cry for meeting one.

So this is snow?

 

A Merry Christmas it is...I made bread!

So I know that you think that I should be posting fabulous photo's of the "fam" and huge smiles of excitement from the kiddo's and I eventually will! But for now I wanted to post that I have mastered the "Weller rolls"! Woo! Hoo! Love you Grandma Weller! XOXO! Yes, one is missing cause we had to try them out! Tee! Hee! What?!?! You say you want a closer view of all that yummy-ness! Well than here you go!

So this is Christmas....

I feel like I am a hamster running in circles on that squeaky wheel! I know there is a million things I have to or need to get done! This morning I woke up (again not by choice) at 5 am and just couldn't believe that it's Christmas eve! Where did the month go? Anywho, I know I am not going to have time later to get some photo's up so wanted to post them now...yes...at 6:11am! We did some running around last weekend and had only a small list of errands to do. Starting with fixing the spare bedroom bed. I'd love to say I have no idea what happened to it or that the kids broke it by jumping on it. But, that is not the case...I sat on it! Well, actually I plopt down on it. Is that a word? Plop, plopped, plopt? Either way it was quite sad and maybe a tad bit of an eye opener. In my defense it's a home made bed, bed frame and head board! Yup! I'm going with that! Bad craftsman's ship! So anyways I wanted to get a few photo's of this past weekend posted because I have a feeling I'm not going to have that much time to do anything here in the next week or so. It was a pretty good low key weekend which is always nice! So we headed to Lowe's to pick up some wood to fix the bed and actually got there right when they had started their Lowe's kids craft making class. We decided to stay and do the craft with the kiddo's and it was great fun! We were making Pet treat keepers or at least that what they said they were suppose to be. I am not great at following directions and am a totally hands on or visual kind of person. I think Brent was leaning away from me so I couldn't peek at him and Memphis's "Pet treat keeper"! So mine...um...I'm mean Sawyers and mine ended up looking like an actual "pet treat keeper"! You may be saying to your self "Yes, you already said that and what is the difference between their (Brent and Memphis's) pet treat keeper and your pet treat keeper. Well see below...I think we just kinda gave up. Well after that we headed on over to Ace Hardware. Memphis asked if we could go to the MAN store and go look at all the dead stuffed animals. So that's just what we did! I'm not sure about anyone else's Ace Hardware but ours sells guns, ammo and has an outside shooting range! Simple and free entertainment for the boys! ALL THREE OF THEM!When we got home we decided to do a Christmas craft and that to was great fun but always stressful when they'd rather play with a tub full of glue then actually do the craft! Mom what can I glue now? Mom what can I glue now? Hmmmm? Your Mouth?!? Nah! I didn't say that but I'd wonder if they'd do it though. We ended our evening the same as usual with a little computer time for Memphis after the kiddo's bath. It always makes me laugh because that poor boy can't do anything with out his brother being right next to him. Sawyer just adores his big brother! As crazy as this month has been and as fast as it has flown by. It was nice to have a simple down time kinda weekend! If I don't get to do it later I want to tell everyone to have a Very Merry Christmas!

Christmas for the kids and fun with friends!

Wordless Wednesday: Grandad O. & Memphis...long ago!

My favorite time is also my saddest

The photo above is of Grandpa Weller. Grandpa Weller is Brent's grandpa but feels very much so like he is mine and as if he has been my entire life. I truly love and adore all my grand parent in-laws. I am also lucky to have married into an ENTIRE family that I love so much. I know that's not always the case with a lot of people. Right now Grandpa is in the ICU in Pennsylvania and of course we are sad that we can't just pop over to see him. Grandpa is almost in his 90's and has been married forever to grandma. I wish I could figure out how to work this darn scanner because I would have posted the sweetest photo of him and grandma on their anniversary. I have the photo on our fridge! we received an e-mail this morning from Brent's mom letting us know whats going on with him. I had previously stated in an older post about how Brent's mom had recently taken on the position of caring for Grandma and Grandpa and let them move into their house. Grandpa became ill maybe days after they moved in. I told Brent it's almost as if his mind and body new that grandma...the love of his life...was in good hands and now safe and being taken care of. Grandpa has ALWAYS been wide eyed and aware of everything at least until yesterday. He has now been talking about things like an airfield in Rhimersburg and smoke. Obviously, Grandpa was in the military! These times in my grand parents lives are my favorite times and they are my saddest times. My favorite because they are so often remembering things about their pasts and I get to learn so many things about them but it goes hand in hand with the fact that they are elderly and they aren't in a right state of mind.Dementia of some sort maybe.
This makes me actually think of my grandma. I was never a really great kid growing up and at young ages I was crazy naughty and fought alot with my brother and the teen years..well...that's a whole long drawn out story! I was never real close with my Grand mother on my dad's side and wasn't even sure she actually cared. When I married Brent later in my mid 20's I took Brent to Tennessee to meet her and by this time Alzheimer's had already kicked in pretty bad. She would repeat everything..alot! But, I got to hear amazing stories. My grand mother was CRAZY SMART and had a ton of degrees she also taught in Africa and wrote books that were published. I can only remember her watching one show my entire life and that was Jeopardy! To be fair I don't think that I truly appreciated her until later in life either. While we were there she told us a story of her in Alaska and bob sledding with sled dogs. She even pulled out photo's of the whole experience! Our visit was good and a bit short. While we were there we hit up the pink palace and the Memphis Zoo and of course Graceland! She only met Brent once and that was the last time I saw her but til the day she died she said how proud she was of me because we went to museums when we visited her and how much she adored Brent. She was proud of me and I am so thankful for her being so proud of me and as much as I wished that I had taken the time to see her again... I am good. I have this glorious image of her standing next to sled dogs like in the photo and great stories whether she meant to tell us or not.
We never got a chance to make it to Pa. for hunting season this year and that's when we usually get to see all of Brent's side of the family. We just moved to Alabama and we aren't financially stable enough to make the trip since the big move. We will be going up during the spring and have had the trip planned now for a while. I can't wait to tell Grandpa how much I love him and give him a hug. Of course Brent feels the same way. He has an amazing love and a truly amazing respect for Grandpa Weller. Please pray for his healing!

Yee Haw!

 

Making Cookies with grandma!

 

Obviously not my cookie!

 

So as I posted before we were heading to mom and dad's to do the annual cookie decorating. This was Brents masterpiece! Yes, by the way that is Deer blood he had made dripping from the arrow and I'm thinking the deer was someones pet by the silver collar it was wearing...Hmmm...maybe Santa's!

One for the "fam"! Beautiful brown eyed boy!

 

One for the "fam"! Sawyer's smile!

 

Don't touch, Don't touch, Don't touch!

 

This is the first year that Sawyer has been mobile and we have had a tree up. I'm exhausted just writing Don't touch! I have said this for a couple weeks straight now! He's just so darn cute!

Creepy little lady bugs!

 

So one more crazy new experience here in our new home of Alabama. All of a sudden we have lady bugs EVERY WHERE!!! Honestly there are like 30 in each window ledge of our house. Not on the outside either! I have no idea how they are getting in or where they came from. I have no idea if it's their "breeding season" or what. But, I do know that it's all male lady bugs because girl lady bugs aren't the pretty red and black ones. So I guess that throws out the whole breeding thing...I think?!?! Seriously where did they come from and why are they clinging to my window screens? It's not like the were in the house and screaming to get out now. They have to know how all one million of them got in. Memphis walks around with them on his hands and that's kinda creepy too. But, it's even worse when he tells me that he wants to take his "lady bug brother" to Walmart with him...to which he did! I later found him dead on the floor board of the car!

This face...that smile!

 

Shhhh! Don't tell me your name cause' I can't sleep as it is!

Just to let you know this is gonna be a super long one! So it seems as the days and weeks are just flying by. I can't seem to slow down and that just happens sometimes. The last time I posted or actually "wrote" a post I talked about my mommy meet up group and a few people here and there. It's amazing what just a few weeks can do to a person. I know not many of you know this but I have posted it time and time and time again that I am a thinker, a stewer, a dweller,and a wonderer! After I received the news about Margo and her cancer coming back I think it all went down hill from there. I have been keeping up with her and the next steps that they are taking and you can to by going here http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/margomenger .Anywho, the night before Thanksgiving we drove to my folks and I spoke with one of Margo's friends and she was trying to give me the run down on whats going on but for the most part people are trying to stay away from time frames and doing a whole lotta praying for God's healing! When I was at my folks I was taking a shower and sat there for a few and just thought... why? Why her? Why anyone? Who does the picking and choosing? I know I haven't known her long but I cry for her and adore her. I want to do all I can for her! That day...Thanksgiving...was great! But, I need to add in some where that I have had a headache since Nov. 21st and it was now Nov. 26th. So great as it was my head was throbbing and couldn't believe it had been so many days in a row that I had been dealing with not just a mild but a severe headache! Through the days I started to feel like a bad wife because I felt that I wasn't showing Brent any such attention a husband should be shown but I was physically spent and hurting! I received another e-mail from the woman from the mommy meet up group (not a pushy or ugly one) but just asking if anyone had been willing to donate anything used for Christmas for them. I just became angry and hurt and sad and I know I shouldn't. I was mad that we now have 89 members or so and only ONE PERSON mentioned about wanting to help out! I know times are tough and trust me when I say we know what it's like to be a day late and a dollar short! Goodness! Have you ever seen me post ANYTHING on here about us doing something or going somewhere...NO! But, don't think I wouldn't cut some corners somewhere to figure out how to help some one at least a little bit. I know I shouldn't be mad and sad but I am and it's eating at me. Now I am on to my 9th or 10th day with a headache! We then received a message from my mother in-law that My grand father in-law was very, very ill and taken by ambulance to the hospital and he was in the ICU. We didn't even realize how sick he was until the Doc's reiterated it to everyone! I feel bad for my mother in-law and some times wished we lived closer to her so we could help out. She has recently let Grandma and Grandpa move into her house...Thank Goodness! This is a huge task and on top of taking care of them you have to completely re-do your entire life's ordinary day agendas and doings. She had a rough thanksgiving as well and I wished now that we had been there so I could have helped out. Grandpa is doing semi okay now but he is still in the ICU because he has Mercer now! Please continue to pray! By my 11th day of a head ache I told Brent I just couldn't take it anymore and he took the day of to stay with the kids and I head to the urgent care and there I sat for 1 1/2 hours for them to tell me they couldn't see me because I'd have to go to the ER to get a Cat scan! It wasn't all bad though because the Urgent care is a super Religious Urgent care with about 20 bibles laying about and a few "our daily breads" and scripture all over the walls. I say it wasn't all bad because I picked up a pamphlet on the story of Christmas and read it to pass the time. I know people were looking at me and kept thinking I must be in some serious pain because I was sobbing. Trust me I was in pain and did cry cause I wanted someone beside me and there was no one because my folks don't live here and Brent had to watch the kids and I was hurting. But, I was actaully sobbing because I was reading about how Mary was kneeling below Jesus as he was on the cross and how she looked up at his face and saw streaks down his face from which his tears were shed and wiped away the dirt. Every time I read this I for some reason put my self in the position of Mary as if I were looking up at one of my two sons and how bad my heart would hurt but still knowing that I had to have faith in my God and his plan. See here I go again...don't cry, don't cry! Anywho, I left there and headed to the ER and I new it would be a long, long wait so I took one of those Daily bread books with me to read. I like those! I read the story about Anna and Simeon again and it still amazes me...all that faith! I was finally called to the back after to which felt like an eternity. They asked tons of questions, stuck an IV in me, did a Cat scan and then pumped me full of drugs! Anti-vomiting medicine, anti-inflammatory, some kind of drug that made me seriously loopy! and two others before I left. I had to call Brent to come get me and we left his car there at the hospital. So much for the anti-vomiting meds because I got sick ALL THE WAY HOME! UGH! They said they really couldn't find anything wrong but they did say between poor vision, poor sleeping habits, stress, poor eating habits and everything else that this could be the out come...week long severe headaches! I have a follow with a neurologist next week some time and they sent me home with some medicine that I couldn't even take if I wanted to unless I could teach the dog to tend to the kids! Yesterday I was still woozy but I am feeling a bit better today although I still feel a bit anxious. I am Queen of anxiety attacks! They come and they go but thankfully don't stay as long as they use to. When I checked my mommy meet-up group when I got back home some one had posted something new. It was a message about a mom of four (real young kids) had just fled an abusive situation (husband) and left everything and I mean everything behind. They were looking for help and once again I can feel my head spinning and my stress level rising. I know I can't fix the whole world but I always feel compelled to try! Thankfully my friend Misty stopped me in my tracks and made me understand that this person has posted this on our site as well as one of the largest churches here in town and I can always pray for people to put aside themselves for a bit and to help out others. That's the key...pray. Isn't it strange to say that you have to PRAY for others to think not only of themselves. Trust me when I say that I do know we are all human and all have flaws and all do this from time to time...think of only ourselves. I'm tired and stressed and am going to find a couple Asst. organizers for my group because I need to relinquish some control now that we are so close to 100 members. The Holidays are approaching and I want it to be enjoyable and not stressful. I know I always come up with these odd titles to my posts but honest to goodness I spend half my night praying for people I know, people I don't, people I wish I did and our president! If I meet one more person I think I might never sleep again!

Thanksgiving...a little late posting!