Friday, September 25, 2009

Struggling a bit and kinda in a rut!

I haven't posted anything in a while and I either have nothing to say or haven't done anything interesting enough to write about. I am how ever tired of the up and downs of my emotions. Today it's a little rough! So we have decided that we are going to try out new churches. I'm not saying that the one we were attending was awful but for some reason deep down in my gut it just doesn't feel right. UGH! I just want a church! On the same note we received a letter from our old church letting us know that they are taking us out as members because we no longer live there and don't attend the church. I feel like I was just kicked while I was down but I know it had to be done. Brent has been traveling a lot lately and the first week I headed over to my parents for a few days while he was gone. It helps a tad with the kids and all. My father started growing Cotton and the kids enjoyed Granddad (dad) showing them that. The next week I stayed by myself for the first time in the new house. I can't stand it when hubby is gone because not only do I hear the words Mommy, mommy, mommy a million times more but I can't sleep. When he is gone I put the kids in the room with me. So I either can't sleep because of the houses noises or I have a toe shoved up my nose! Train, Ice maker, neighbors dog, toilet bowl, our dog snoring, kids snoring, cars driving by, TRAIN! It's all scary! Anywho, he is back now and life is good. But, I will tell you that I actually ventured out without him and I was so glad that I did. I'm sure you are saying that I am always venturing out but not like this. I took the boys to their first Circus! I didn't tell Memphis where we going and said it was a surprise. I thought that he was going to explode! I was little nervous because the circus was crowded and Sawyer couldn't be in a stroller to restrain him from walking away. But, it was amazing and fun and great all rolled into one! The kids were so unbelievably great and very excited! I really wished that Brent could have been with us though so it kinda just didn't feel the same...complete I should say. I still haven't made any real close friends yet or at least not someone that I want to call and hang out with often because I like to talk to them. So I am still feeling a little lonely. I did start a mommy meet-up group that has officially 30 members now and grows daily. I started this group for moms, families, kids and ME! I'm not gonna lie I am hoping to meet some friends through members of the group. It has also forced me to find out whats going on around town to post on the events calendar and get out and about! I have also signed up to be a vendor at a small town harvest day festival. Little nervous about this because it's my first time being a vendor but I hope that it goes great and I meet tons of people and maybe sell a few products too! If ya'll are questioning what I sell you have to see my site
I have made one huge decision in my life and ALOT nervous about this. Memphis is going to be 4 years old in about 2 weeks and Sawyer is 1 years old. Brent and I have never left or children with anyone. Memphis maybe once or twice with my parents but never both of them. Oh! except with my best friend when the movers where there for a couple hours but three of my friends were watching them there at her house. I have decided that I am going to join a gym that has child care. So I can go to the gym at 8:30am in the morning and then off to all the kid's stuff throughout the day, lunch, straighten house, then daddies home! I met a girl that works out there and wants me to be her work out partner and I am wanting this soooooo bad. So I have decided for once that I am going to do something for me...a little scary! Especially since I'm a germ-a-phob! But as this girl says in her cute little southern drawl. Put your hands on them, pray over them and then kick their booty's into the play room and go work out! So it's official that's my plan! Atleast it is when we get the extra money...Tee Hee! I talk a big talk!

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