Wednesday, April 14, 2010

The three Z's

The day before yesterday I had officially became that crazy MaMa! Yes, it is true! But out of complete disappointment! I haven't posted about the three Z's yet but I have been meaning to. The three Z's are my neighbors kids. Zian age 7, Zain age 5, and Zachary age 2. So often we have seen these kiddo's swinging on the tire that is attached to their huge tree. We have watched as they road their dirt bikes through their back yard. We had heard them playing tag and have watched Memphis our son stand at our fence wanting to join in on the fun. Well a few weeks ago while we were out gardening we had decided to let Memphis walk over to their back yard. By the way big properties all connected by back yards but are's just happened to be fenced. We figured since we were right there and watching that although Memphis is four that it would be okay. It was official! Our son was a big boy and playing in the yard with neighborhood kids. Sawyer, being that he is only two years old couldn't tag along with his big brother so he had cried and cried literally for an hour!

After that day of play the two boys Zian and Zain would come knocking on the door to play with Memphis in the back yard. Our backyard! Everyday! Brent met their mother for but a second as she came and got her 2 year old daughter. We found out that she is in the middle of a divorce and that she is a nurse. A few days later she allowed her daughter that is 2 yrs. old come over and I then began feeling like we were babysitters. Is that awful to say? It just seemed so inappropriate and a little scary because I won't even allow my two year old to leave our sight yet alone our yard! We have yet to say anything probably because I have not figured out what to say or how to say it.

Anywho, the day before yesterday the boys came over to play. Occasionally we have to scold them on their behavior and the things they say. Our home! Our rules! They talked about how they like watching American Gangster which I have not seen, but, they spoke of Scar Face as well! YIKES!!!!! Really! Seven years old and five years old watching scar face. Despite the fact that it's drugs and blood and shootings and violence! Does anyone remember what he said when he was asked how he got the scar on his face! I could not believe it! I then began to feel so bad that children of this age think that it is okay see say the things they do and do the things they do. Zian stood beside my as I watered the garden telling me how much he loved gardens and was going to have one, one day. I asked him if he had had squash, zuchini, artichokes and egg plant. He did tell me he loved Broccoli with cheese on it! Cute! this is the type of conversations should be having. Just tell me you want to be a fireman one day!

Later that evening my boys had to come in for baths, jammies, milk and a snack. It's our usual nights routine. I started around the house closing windows and closing blinds and noticed Zian and Zain standing behind their neighbors newly built fence which is connected to their yard. It just looked suspicious! I watched and watched and then saw a flick of a lighter. YIKES! They were SMOKING!!! Five and seven years old and they were SMOKING! Why does a five year old even know how to use a lighter? He was the one lighting the cigarettes. Either way I walked out back and hopped our fence and screamed their names like they have never heard before! I found my MaMa voice! They flipped around and a lighter was flung into the air and they sat still as I marched over to them. They then received a mini lecture of cigarettes and CANCER as I walked them to their back door. They said nothing at all and had fear in their eyes. I tapped on their back door with the tip of the lighter and their mother answered...yessssss. I looked down at the boys and said "tell your MaMa what you were doing!" and they both stayed silent. I repeated myself and they then began to tell on each other. so much for a united front! I stopped them mid sentence and told their mother that her boys (Ages 5 and 7) were out back smoking. She just seemed as if she wasn't surprised or almost as if she didn't care but the boys cried and cried. She told them to come into the house as Zachary her daughter clung to her leg.

The next day...yesterday....we did not get a knock on the door to play. My heart hurts for them. My heart hurts for Memphis as well as he stared out the window watching them in their back yard playing and wondered why today they did not come over and ask to play in our back yard with him. How would I even explain that? I am not knocking anyone. I smoked my first cigarette at age 8 and smoked regularly at age 13 and a pack a day by age 15 and quit at age 31! All I keep thinking about is that Memphis is 4 1/2 years old and Zain is 5 years old. I was picturing Memphis with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth in 6 months and the boy still screams for me from the bathroom to wipe!
Did I do what was right?


  1. Yes, yes, and yes. Pray for those kids and I will too. Take a care package to the Mom, and sit and listen to her. She probably needs a friend.

  2. that is funny...I was about to say the same thing, protect your kids, but that momma is your new mission.... she needs you.

  3. You absolutely did the right thing, but I agree that the mom could use a friend.

  4. That is a reason I like to have the neighborhood kids come and play here. That way I get to keep an eye and ear on what is happening. My neighbor is upset with me because I have gone over to her house to discuss things with her and she thinks her son is perfect because he writes worship songs and loves Jesus. As we were talking she didn't realize half the things that have been said or done, not all horrible, simple things like when I went to talk to her about toys getting broken because Patrick would tell me he broke something and she got mad at him, but she didn't hear that toys were broken here too.. that is what happens when you have boys that are playing rough.. but Patrick was getting blamed for everything and I was tired of hearing about it. The last straw was a little graphic conversation when they were playing a "would you rather" game.. sorta like truth or dare. SO we have to protect our children, and sometimes being the one that has the kids over is a good thing!! Yes, it sounds like mom needs a friend and it just might be that you may have to just separate from them if she doesn't seem willing to want to parent her children, because ultimately you have to parent yours regardless of her choices. Kim

  5. Why does everyone have a simple answer but me :D

  6. Oh and no more wiping Memphis' butt. He will be going to school and needs to know how to do that stuff.. Hee-hee.