Reinventing me....over and over and over again!
Hey Gina...it's Wendy! Great pic of the fam, you guys look like a match made in heaven. Well, we know you are b/c God makes NO mistakes and that pic tells it all. Speaking of 'Why me', ya know that's an easy way out and I always thought it rather blasphemous in a sort b/c again God makes no mistakes. Not saying that you're being blasphemous, just saying that's the only thing that's kept me from that way of thinking. I know you know what I'm saying and I'm not dare saying you shouldn't feel what you feel. That's actually how most people feel at some point or another. Somehow thru all of my hardships of life, I've NEVER once had that thought. I have no idea how I've avoided it b/c I've certainly been thru a lot. Drugs, theft, a husband (now ex) in and out of jail, single motherhood w/ THREE children and absolutely no financial child support while handling extremely difficult jobs and feeling as though I was being neglectful, then a new husband,as wonderful as he is, with children outside the marriage with a psychopath mother and having to emotionally deal with her foolishness, jealousy, and detrimental treatment of those children that I love like I birthed them...the list goes on and on and on. But the one thing that I'm always able to rely on is that GOD PROMISED to never leave me nor forsake me. As the old saying goes, what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger. I am a testament of that and feel very strong despite my mistakes and trials. I am so very sorry that Sawyer experienced the Salmonella and I can't even IMAGINE what that has been like as a mother. One thing that I've yet to experience after 12 years with my children are major illnesses, although we've had one hospitalization and some upper respiratory scares, nothing like Salmonella. All in all, you must remember that God hasn't left you and will never leave Sawyer. When I hear about stories of individuals overcoming traumatic situations, horrendous illnesses, major injuries,etc., I wonder at the amazement of God and his awesome power! You too will have a testimony one day and God KNOWS that you will glorify His name to help someone else thru their struggle. THAT'S WHY YOU!!!! That voice of yours will be a healer, a comforter, a sunshine on a rainy day. Your hug, your smile, your straightupness will inspire, encourage, and strengthen someone, many, and help them overcome difficutlt situations in their lives. I think Chris told me that he'd mentioned to you that I had to have a total hip replacement just 3 weeks ago at the ripe young age of 31. I'm not sure if he mentioned after being misdiagnosed for 7 months, I walked around going to work everyday on a broken hip to later find out that had they have done just one more test, they could have SAVED MY HIP...and somehow, some way, I've never thought 'Why me'. Just think, I can never run nor jog, nor do ANYTHING high impact, and I'm still so young and full of energy. I can't run and tackle playing w/ my boys, I've always wanted to play softball, can't now...and on top of that, they only expect this hip to last 15 - 20 years until I have to have a revision. However, though all this is true, I have ZERO regrets as to how it happened, nor why it happened, and especially not why it happened to Wendy...Wendy who's always gone above and beyond the call of duty to help any and everyone that crosses her path. Wendy who's made many mistakes, but has spent a lifetime trying to correct them rather than add to the list. Wendy who's tried to be the best mom she could for those 3 little boys, the best wife she could being on my SECOND husband, and always a child that TRIED to make her parents (to include GOD) proud. Never thought, WHY WENDY. However, what I have thought was "WHAT NEXT GREAT thing does God have planned for me after He brings me thru this experience". He will close one door and open another 10x better...He always has done this in my life, never once failing. GIIIIIIRRRRRRLLLLL, you have NO idea what great thing he had planned for me (and this is just for starters, my spirit is envoked and I know there's so much more to come). I feel enlightened, inspired, so close to HIM, so appreciative of my HUSBAND, my MOTHER, my CHILDREN, my IN-LAWS, my FRIENDS, my CO-WORKERS, everything around me has more beauty than I ever saw before. The grass is greener, the sky is bluer, smiles are brighter, the birds are chirping louder, with this new hip I was given a new heart, a new mind, a new gratitude for life! That's what he had in store for me. A new, wonderful view of life and new level of expectancy...wondering what AWESOME work He plans to do in my life from here. I am currently involved in a 40 day fast from wrongful thinking hosted by Pastor Gregory Dickow that has been a great help during this recovery period. Wrongful thinkig is a plague that has overcome much of the western world, much of the world as a whole for that matter. Even being Christian, it is so hard to overcome thinking the wrong thoughts, thus making the wrong decisions, and often times making a mess of our lives. Controlling our thoughts and trusting in God's promises makes NOTHING GO WRONG IN OUR LIVES. When we think with that thought, that NOTHING GOES WRONG IN OUR LIVES...that's what happens, nothing goes wrong. Even if it looks and feels wrong, when we put our trust and faith in God, HE reassures us that everything will be ALRIGHT...one way or the other. There's always what some call the 'plan B', it may not be how we want it, but it is what it is and it's up to us as to how we'll handle it. Life is 10% what happens and 90% how we react to it. That's a lot of power in our own very little minds. If we can control it, we can control a lot of the things that happen in our lives. Every night before my boys go to bed, we go thru the lesson for that day in our 40 day fast...tonight my oldest said 'Mom, I think you'd be a great minister'. HALLELUJAH! LORD I LOVE YOU...it brought tears to my eyes. I have no idea what is in store for me, but I know my life has a PURPOSE and my experiences have been great teachers and I am so blessed to be (as you say) ALIVE today. Every day that He gives me the blessing of breath is an opportunity to be a blessing to another and I'm thankful for that responsibility and that priviledge. So, one bit of advice that I can give is to not think 'Why me', rather THANK HIM FOR USING YOU, KEEPING YOU, and BEING SO MERCIFUL TO ALL OF US...He's constantly blessing you to be a blessing to others.It's 2 a.m. and time for me to go nighty night.I love ya girl and your blog is great...thanks for telling me about it!Wendy in NC! Miss you!!!!